Oh my stars...those yellow and green squares

Oh my stars....I am so stinking tired of having little yellow strips fluttering behind me a everywhere I go....I have been dreaming about yellow and green squares that are perforated across the top and the bottom, they talk to me, they go riding around with me and some of them even come to exercise class with me. I hope if those little yellow squares fall out of my purse at church that I won't get that evil eye for gambling!! Please be over, please August come so I won't have to tear open one more yellow perforated square. I am the kind of person who doesn't play B-I-N-G-O very well. What do you mean B-I-N-G-O is just a game of chance!! Chance!! Chance! If it were chance then I would win sometimes...I NEVER, EVER, NEVER WIN B-I-N-G-O..EVER! My hands get all sweaty, my heart starts to race, sweat beads pop up all across my forehead and somehow cotton balls end up in my ears because I can no longer hear what that caller is saying. Chance means that sometimes I would win. Chance means just that, there is a chance you could win. Let me tell you something...there is no chance I will win B-I-N-G-O or this stupid little grocery store game with the dumb yellow and green perforated squares they keep giving me at the grocery store. No way, no how, no CHANCE.

Since this game has started I have kept the board at my desk, taping the tiny game pieces to the grocery board full of items and letters you can't even read unless you put on your glasses. I have mailed in the index cards, approximately 20 of them with both grocery carts taped to it, wrote my name, address, city, state and zip code put a forty-four cent stamp on an envelope and mailed it in to the home office. Now let's see 44 times 20 = $8.80. I have spent $8.80 on this game, no wonder I am dreaming about talking yellow squares. Anyway at first it was fun, I was taping pieces to my game board left and right, every other square I would open was a new friend I didn't have, one step closer to my house being payoff!!! Then, all of a sudden I started getting double, and triple game pieces, I would open 25 squares at one time and get the same ones over and over and over, hey wait a minute I have ten of #35! What is going on..I have 15 more of the carts to tape on index cards and mail to the home office ....but I am not going to do it..No I'm not getting sucked in any further than I already am. The guys in my office keep dumping them on my desk as if my desk is the little yellow perforated square dumping ground..I am not going to open any more of these squares, I am not....I am not!

The bad part is that I only need a few to win...I need two different ones in order for my mortgage to be paid off. When you win that do you get to keep the rest cause my mortgage balance is way less than $250,000.00...I could build April a new house...pay mom's off..maybe if we all went together we could build Bo and Amy a house and they would move home....O my stars, what am I doing...I am not going to win that one for sure, $250,000.00! If I had the ice cream sandwich one I would win a $35,000 vehicle, hmmm..I do love ice cream sandwiches. Ranch dressing and Miracle Whip would get me the $25,000 vehicle, but to be honest if I had the ranch dressing and miracle whip and made up some recipe I would probably have a better chance of winning $25,000.00. I need two on the $25,000. I need cream style corn and I could win $10,000.00. Bread and donuts I could have a $10,000 dream vacation, if I were to go on a dream vacation I sure could not have bread and donuts, some man must have put this game together...I am not opening anymore of those squares.....

Well, I just got back from lunch and the yellow square fairies left me a lovely gift of 21 game pieces. Didn't they hear me when I said I wasn't going to play anymore..I don't not have time to tear open those squares and match them to the game only to discover once again that I still need a pizza to win $5,000.00 and peanut butter to win $2,500.00 and...and...and...OH MY STARS I just got #79!!!! #79!!! I didn't have it!! I won!!! I WON!!!! Let's see, it goes with..with the $2.00. $2.00! Who cares! I won! I-I-I-I W-O-O-O-N-N! Maybe I will just hang on to my board a little longer.