More ads, less movie

It's television commercials.

I came to this conclusion after watching a recent championship football game.

It took three hours of televised play and 61 minutes of commercials

One local ballgame watcher said he got so tired he decided to go to bed and watch the rest of the game in his bedroom He was lulled to sleep by commercials and missed the exciting ending when the Florida 'Gators claimed the victory.

"No ballgame should have to last four hours," he complained.

And no movie should be interrupted every three minutes by a commercial.

No wonder young children have short attention spans. They've been conditioned by television to switch their attention about every five minutes. I call it whiplash of the brain.

Last night I tuned in a two hour movie.The station advertised "More movie; less commercials."

Hello?

Instead I found myself watching commercial after commercial, with snippets of the movie inserted.

I saw the Mucinex DM commercial five times. "Mucinex in, mucus out.".

The commercials ran the gamut from M&M candies to Winona Judd talking about weight loss with Alli.

I saw Pledge for less dust, ShamWow, an absorbant towel for cleaning spills, and Resolve for floors,

I watched Zyrtec for allergy relief, PetMeds pharmacy, Payless Shoes, Smooth Away for unwanted hair, Caltrate for good bones, Sudefed PE for sinus problems, Clorox bleach, Ameritrade for buying stocks, Lipitor for high cholesterol, Herpecin for cold sores, Imodium for loose bowels, and Cialis for ED, for dysfunctional men. There was the Ambien CR sleeping pill ad. (Surely, you saw the crowing rooster sitting on the foot of the woman's bed when she awoke too early). And Lyrica and Cymbalta for fibromyalgia and depression.

Food ads represented Long John Silvers, Taco Bell, McDonald's, Hershey's Bar, Kentucky Fried Chicken,.Subway, Red Lobster, Quaker oatmeal and Popeye buffalo wraps. There was also Dunkin' Donuts, Bertolli oven bake meals, NutraSystem, Weight Watchers, Soy Joy health bar, Hellman's lite mayonnaise and silk soymilk. And Beggin Strips for dogs and Pedigree dog food. And Coca Cola.

There was Sears, Best Buy, Walmart, L'oreal hair color, H & R Block, Eclipse for better breath, Herpecin for cold sores and Lipitor for high cholesterol.

And, locally, Carl's Fine Furniture.

After being inundated with endless commercials, I decided to put them to good use.

I would exercise when each commercial break came on. There were normally four or five back to back commercials so that gave me time to walk briskly from the living room, through the dining room, then the kitchen, around the corner, down a short hallway, through a bathroom, and back into the living room, sort of like an oval track.

I walked until a commercial segment ended and the movie returned to the screen. Then I sat down and watched and waited for the next round of commercials which didn't take long. I probably walked a mile last night. I also washed a sink of dirty dishes during breaks and folded some laundry.

Some of the commercials were so brief that if I looked away, they were over. Others were much longer, like the Progressive insurance ad with the whistle blowing sales clerk and Geico insurance ads with the talking green lizard. (I must say that the trademark lizard is adorable, though repetitive).

There were ads for phone companies, such as AT&T and Sprint, and high speed internet with New Wave, There was Lysol Neutra, an odor eliminator, and Duracell batteries, trusted everywhere. There were car and loan ads, products for radiant skin, and previews of upcoming shows.

Some of the ads were shown multiple times.

And multiple times, I grew weary of them.

My night of televison should have been dubbed "more ads, less movie.

I am commercial logged.

Thank goodness for the mute button.