The phases of life

Life is experienced as "four hills." There's childhood, youth, maturity and old age.

The cycle of four phases, each roughly 20 years long, is associated with a season.

Like the seasons, the four phases blend one into the other.

There's the spring of childhood.

As children we mostly play, run and jump and make noise.

We giggle, and twist, and rarely sit still, always on the move.

As teens we spend lots of time in the privacy of our room, on the telephone talking with the best friend we just saw not 30 minutes before in the classroom. We want to share our latest thoughts, dreams, school happenings with that best friend. We talk about our boyfriends or wanna be boyfriends and whisper secrets we swear not to tell.

As we mature, our thoughts turn to graduation and perhaps college plans.

Then romance comes along and we find that perfect guy or gal we want to spend our lifetime with.

At least that's how we feel at the time.

Sometimes those feelings don't last, sometimes they do.

We welcome young adulthood. It seems we are pushed from one role to the next.

We marry; children come along. That first son or daughter completely changes our routine and our way of life.

We wonder how anything so tiny could capture our hearts so fully

Yes, we miss our sleep and our time is no longer our own, but we wouldn't trade that child for anything or anyone.

It capures our heart and soul.

More children arrive and life is truly hectic.

We settle in to work, and the routine is regimented.

Clothes must be washed, meals prepared, and family members tended to.

The husband goes to work, brings home the paycheck, and tries to feed and clothe his offspring..

Children grow up, leave home one by one

Parents struggle with the the empty nest syndrome, a lonesome time.

But it's also a time for oneself, to take stock, perhaps to venture into new arenas.

We enter the harvest of midlife, another phase.

The woman of the house might decide to go into the work place, or to branch out into a new hobby or interest. Perhaps she feels she can redo the house, to change things around, add a room, or new furniture. Or travel.

Then along come the grandchildren. Often they occupy grandma and grandpa's time and energy. They are a blessing, nevertheless, Then they grow up, perhaps move cross country following their own endeavors or dreams. We don't often hear from them but we keep in touch, albeit long distance.

Eventually the time comes to retire from the workplace. Adjusting to retirement can bring its own complexities.

I remember when my husband was retired with time on his hands. He tried to show me how to rearrange my pantry so that all the canned goods would be stored alphabetically. It did no good to argue that the canned goods wouldn't stay that way. They would be helter skelter in short time.

We came to a watershed moment when he tried to teach me the proper way to hold the fly swat.

The retiree may flounder, not knowing what to do with himself. He may golf or bowl, or hang out with the guys to watch Sunday afternoon ballgames. Or meet with cronies at the restaurant to discuss the weather, the crops or the economy.

It's a time for relaxing, enjoying oneself, without the old responsibilites.

Then enters the winter of old age.

That's the hardest role.

A spouse dies, leaving behind the partner he or she has spent a lifetime with.

It's a lonely, lonely time.

This month a widowed friend wrote a letter to me. Her husband died of cancer a couple of years ago. She was writing with news. She had remarried. That first year without her husband "was the loneliest year in all my life,"she wrote.

Her marriage is a surprise to me, but I understand.

When two people marry they become one, their lives mesh.

When one of them dies, the other feels as though half of them has died,.

The spouse left behind is no longer joined, except in memory.

It's the wintertime of life.

But, as they say, life goes on.

Maybe that's the plan.

Birth and death, and the phases between.

It's the human lifecycle.