My commercial chocolate cake

Thursday, May 31, 2012

I had this sugar free chocolate cake mix I wanted to bake. I just had a taste for it last Tuesday afternoon. But I was watching a tv movie starring one of my favorite actresses, Sandra Bullock, and I didn't want to stop and bake the cake.

So I decided to bake the cake during commercials. I had recently read that if you need to exercise, you could do so during television commercials. Just get up and walk around.

I read also that there are about five minutes of commercials that run back to back during a break between scenes. So I decided to take advantage of the commercial breaks to bake a cake.

During the first series of commercials, I went to the kitchen and made the preparations.

I took out all the baking essentials, including the cake pan, box of cake mix, can of chocolate frosting, a large spoon, large mixing bowl, measuring cup and cooking spray. And, oh yes, a toothpick to test when the cake is done. I set the oven for 350 degrees.

I then prepared the baking dish. To keep the cake from sticking, I lightly coated the bottom of the dish with no-stick cooking spray. For good measure I added a dusting of flour.

All the while I could hear the commercials playing in the living room. There was Lowe's, Pizza Hut, State Farm, Volkswagon Beetle, Macy's, Angie's List, Money Mutual money lenders, New Wave, Pep Boys tires, an injury lawyer making a pitch for new lawsuit clients, Sleep Number beds.

Then I could hear that my movie had resumed so I rushed to the living room to watch Sandra Bullock in a comedy where she wore knee high red fashion boots during the entire movie.

The movie was All About Steve. She's convinced that a CCN (not CNN) camerman is her true love, so she trails him as he travels all over the country, hoping to convince him that they belong together. It's a silly movie, but somtimes a silly movie is what we need in the midst of ho hum politics, mayhem and court trials.

Sandra, who is Mary in the movie, is a crossword puzzle expert who just got fired from her part-time job at a newspaper. The firing gives her more time to pursue Steve.

Commercial time again. There's, Allstate, Diablo Tech University, Mountain Dew, Olay, Subway and a talking cow who tells people to eat Chick-Fil-A, not beef. There's also a J.C. Penney's promo and Wendy's, GEICO, etc.

I then return to the living room to see Mary and two friends trying to escape a monster tornado that is heading straight for their car. They escape by fleeing their dilapidated car and hiding in a large drainage pipe. The car is tossed in the air and heavily damaged.

When the commercials resume, I go back to the kitchen and pour the cake mix into the big mixing bowl, then add three eggs and one half cup of cooking oil, and a cup and a half of water. I also fix a sinkful of soapy water for washing dishes as I go.

The commercials play on in the living room....Phillips colon medication, Metlife, Zyrtec allergy med, Cymbalta for less pain, 21st Century Insurance, Christian, Chantix, a stop smoking aid, Progressive insurance, a buy one, get one free offer, Cover Girl and Burger King.

I decide that I won't beat the mixture with the electric mixer.

Instead I opt for the old fashioned way with a hand beater. I don't want to use the electric mixer and miss part of the movie, therefore, I take the bowl and beater into the living room and beat the cake mixture while I watch more movie.

Mary has fallen into a deep sink hole and rescuers are trying to save her. Steve, the camera man, is filming the ongoing drama for CCN while onlookers look on. The situation looks dire for Mary, who is still wearing the red boots deep inside the mirey hole.

I stir and stir, beat and beat to get the lumps out of the cake mixture. Finally, it looks smooth enough to satisfy me.

Back in the kitchen, I pour the mixture into the prepared dish and place it in the oven. Meantime, commercials drone on in the living room.

I wash the red mixing bowl and beater and measuring cup and assorted items while the cake bakes.

Back in the living room, I see that Mary is rescued. She rushes to embrace her two friends while a large gathering of onlookers clap and yell and hold signs as they rejoice in Mary's rescue.

Steve comes to his senses and decides that Mary isn't a bad egg after all.

Later I frost the cake and eat a big chunk of it.

So all's well that ends well.

Mary gets Steve and I get cake.

And a bit of exercise, too.