My don't do bucket list

Monday, June 11, 2012

Did you read in the news where an 80-year old woman skydived for the first time and it turned into a near tragedy? When her parachute popped, it almost jerked the chute off her shoulders and she was left dangling, barely able to hold on. Her tandem partner saved her by holding onto her until they made a landing. It was a scary thing to watch on YouTube as she was bent double as she spiraled to the ground.

She later said skydiving was something she always wanted to do.

I decided then and there that skydiving would not be on my bucket list.

A bucket list is a list of goals a person wants to do before he dies. It could be an event or destination or anything a person yearns to do or accomplish before he "kicks the bucket."

The expression was made prominent after Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman starred in the movie "Bucket List" in 2007.The two terminally ill losers made a list of things they planned to do before they died and they set about doing those things.

The term took hold in our society and people often say "that is on my bucket list."

Well, I've come up with a few things that are definitely not on my bucket list.

Skydiving tops the list

Another not on my list is running with the bulls in Spain.

My bucket list doesn't include getting tattoos all over my body. I remember when my husband had my first name tattooed on his upper right arm. He was a young recruit in the US Air Force at the time. The tattoo was surrounded by flowers and tiny leaves. He was so proud to show off the tattoo when he came home on leave. He would be forever branded with my name.

My bucket list does not include roofing a house. I helped my son and husband do that once. I got a sunburn, plus blisters on the top of my toes where my shoes rubbed.

Neither do I plan to swim the English Channel. (Remember I can't swim.)

I won't be a standup comic or perform on stage. I was once a pickaninny in a second grade musical. My role was to bob up and down in a circle of other dancing pickaninnies. What I wanted to be was a pretty butterfly with sparkled wings like some of the other girls in my class..I doubt that such a musical with blackened faces would be tolerated now days. It would be offensive.

However, I was given a leading role in another play, Mrs. Wiggs and the Cabbage Patch.

My bucket list doesn't include eating raw fish..

Or digging ditches..

And definitely no bungee jumping off high bridges..

I won't go on a backpacking expedition in the Alaskan wilderness where grizzlies live and roam.

And I won't climb Mt. Everest in the Himalayas where it's cold enough to frostbite the extremities.

I won't learn to scuba dive. (Remember I can't swim.) Also I don't like my face underwater. Actually I did learn to water ski years ago. Then I advanced and learned to water ski on one ski. But I always wore two life jackets for safety. If and when I fell, the jackets would pop me right up out of the water instantly. My husband, who drove the boat, knew he'd better turn back and pick me up pronto.

I won't eat dog meat in China, Vietnam or Korea or anywhere else. I don't care if it is considered a "delicacy."

I won't surfboard or catch a big wave. (I can't swim, remember?) I'd rather couch surf.

My bucket list won't include skateboarding either. I did learn to roller skate on sidewalks near my home. That was in the days when skaters used heavy metal keys to tighten the skates. The only danger in roller skating was a skinned knee now and then. Later I rented white skating shoes at the roller rink.

I won't go over Niagara Falls in a barrel or any other way. (I still can't swim.)

To sum up, I'd say my bucket list has a hole in it.