Married or Single?

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Married or single, that is the question.

I've listened in on conversations that listed the pros and cons.

A widowed friend mused aloud this week about which would be best.

"I think it might be nice to be married," she said. "It would be comforting to have a husband to watch over me--to take care of me when I'm sick or in need."

"But then again," she said, "maybe the husband would be a pain in the neck, not supportive at all." She wondered if he might expect her to cater to him, wait on him, do his bidding, to be his nurse.

Maybe he would sit in his recliner with the remote while she tended to the kids, started a load of clothes, fed the cat, and started supper, all at the same time. He would be oblivious to what was going on as he watched the weather, or sports, or played a game on his Smartphone.

I'm just saying.

Then again, it might be a good thing to have a husband to take you to a nice restaurant or to a movie or a night out on the town. Or to a nice vacation spot. Someone to chauffeur you here and there and to have fun with. "You know," she said, "companionship."

Being single has its drawbacks, the friend said. Who wants to vacation alone or to eat out alone when couples are seated all around you?

True, that when a single woman is invited to join married couples at a social gathering, she often feels like a fifth wheel.

Then, again, what if she marries and her husband has a roving eye. Or a penchant for alcohol or drugs. She could be setting herself up for heartache and pain. He might decide that the marriage has gone dull, the romance gone.

Would she one day look across the kitchen table and think, "Who is this stranger I married? I don't even know you."

Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to be your own person, to make your own schedule, to read a book at midnight if one wanted to--not have anyone else to wait on or to pick up after. No more pressing shirts or cooking 9 to 5 meals. Freedom to eat a TV dinner or nothing at all.

"Does that sound selfish?" the friend asked.

I offered my opinion on the pros.

A happy marriage is like always being with your best friend.

And two can live almost as cheaply as one and a half, which is better than two. Usually employed couples bring in more money than a single worker.

Your spouse lends support. He/She is at your side, has your back, and gives comfort and understanding. And married couples live longer, I've read. And also that married people on whole are happier than single people.

There's the legal recognition of your union, a nice thing to have.

To marry or not to marry, that is the question.

The answer is up to the individual.