A Marriage Expert

Thursday, July 3, 2014

I was married for 35 years so that makes me an expert on marriage.

In my lifetime, I've seen what I consider good marriages and not so good.

At first, young marrieds are so enamored with each other, they see no faults. Time passes, and differences begin to surface.

They compromise somewhat, but haven't yet realized they aren't on the same wave lengths.

They never are, really, because men think differently than women.

I knew this married couple who had vastly different opinions about furniture.

She would periodically, almost weekly, move the couch, recliners, end tables to different locations in the living room.

He would come home, look around, then start shoving the furniture back to its original spots.

This went on for years, her moving, him re-moving.

Time took care of their problem.

One day she fractured her hip, and he developed a breathing problem that put him on oxygen.

Their petty disagreements disappeared like fog on a sunny day.

There can be differences of opinion about car seats. She adjusts the seat and the steering wheel to accommodate her body. The next day he gets behind the wheel and wants to know why she has to always move the seat the way she did.

"So my foot will reach the brake," she counters, but the scene is set for more arguments.

True, men and women are miles apart emotionally, mentally and physically.

Man's brain is wired differently than a woman's brain. A man is more concerned with practicalities, while she nurtures feelings and relationships.

She thinks of pretty towels, decorating, a new haircut, floral arrangements, recipes, the kids and lunch with the girls. He thinks ballgames, four wheel drives, tractors, lawn mowers and gizmos.

A wife makes a list of things she needs and then goes to the store and buys these things.

A husband will wait until he has half an apple and something green in the refrigerator before he will trudge to the store.

I was at the grocery store picking out some bananas that were on my list. As I searched for just the right bananas to purchase, a male shopper, without slowing down, picked up a bunch of bananas and threw them into his cart. He whizzed down the aisle before I had selected the first banana.

Two women can go browsing in the mall for most of the day and enjoy it. Men consider that a bore, a waste of time. Get what you want and get out is their motto.

There are reasons for disagreements in marriage. Finances and how to spend the money, discipline of the children, personality conflicts.

It takes time to iron out those wrinkles.

Sometimes all it takes is respecting the spouse, and respecting each others' differences.

It was ordained that they become as one.

Surely, God knew what He was doing.

Didn't you, God?